Blah...

So today is the first day of my one-week no drinking binge. If I can make it that far maybe at the end of it I will see if I can make it a little further. God, it would be nice if I could just quit drinking. Its strange to me that I spent my entire life eating meat three meals a day and I could give that up without even a second thought but I can't quit drinking or smoking and I've only been doing those things for a few years. I chose to start poisoning myself with drugs and alcohol when I was just 14 and since then I've been able to give up drugs for the most part but in reality I didn't give up anything, I just switched poisons. There hasn't been a single day in at least 2 months that I havent had at least something to drink and in the last 3 weeks I've gotten piss drunk nearly every single day. Not a drop today. I won't dissappoint myself this time. Not a drop for a week, not even at the club. Maybe it would be a good idea for me to just go in to the under 21 side of the club for this week until I know I can trust myself.

On a more positive note: I'm going to teleperformance today to get a new job. I've been looking for restaurant work because thats what I've done for three years now but so far its not working out very well. I swore off with telemarketing too, but this is inbound and thats not so bad. I'll keep looking for another serving job, too. I just need something immediate. I'm also going up to the U today or tomorrow to finally start my registration process. Its been four years now that I've been out of school. I could have a degree already if I hadn't fucked around so much. That doesn't matter though. I'm doing it now and I guess thats what counts. I'm just glad I'm still only 21 and I'm not married with children or anything. I still have a chance. I think its a pretty good one too.