I hate babysitting

We had a very unexpected party last night at my house. Nobody said party or anything like that, but somehow a whole bunch of people showed up with a whole bunch of alchohol. It was a ton of fun but Joel brought this kid that couldn't keep his mouth shut to save his life. He kept almost getting into fights and pissing people off, including me. Joel took off to his room with some girl and since Joel is my roommate, his guests tend to become my responsibility unfortunately. So I babysat. I kept him away from people who he'd pissed off and did my best to keep him from irritating anybody new. He kept hitting on other people's girls, too and when they didn't like that he'd refer to something violent that he'd like to do to them e.g.: I wanna pull your dyke fuckin hair out. I hope when I'm drunk I'm never that obnoxious. Broken people like to show the world just how fucked up in the head they are when they get drunk. I'm glad I'm not really all that broken.

I really wanted to spend time with Julie last night. She came down from Provo to see me and she was dressed up soooo fucking cute. I feel really bad so I bought a bottle of sparkling wine for us to share later tonight. We're supposed to kick it at her place so that should be cool. I haven't actually been in there yet. I like this girl so much right now. Its so sad that I know that won't last very long. I'm going to break her heart and I'm even gonna warn her just like I always do. I really should do my best not to let girls get close to me like this. Most of the time I don't let them but once in a while one comes around that really disarms me for a bit. Never long enough though, just long enough for me to hurt them. I'll try this time. I always try. I wish I didn't like being alone so much.